Make Being Happy A Habit

Sorry I have been so quiet lately.  My life has gone into a major transition period, for the better but has kept me very busy trying to get all my ducks in a row.  Last April (2015) I decided it was finally time to end a loveless marriage that was filled with a lot of resentment causing me to feel stressed daily.  Since then everything went into a whirlwind; trying to refinance my home, court dates, trying to not interrupt so much of my children's lives and so much more.  Anyone who has gone through this process understands what I'm saying...it's a roller coaster ride for sure. 

Here it is February 2016 and I am feeling so much better all in all.  Sure, there will always be some circumstances that arise where I want scream and believe me I have done so into my pillow several times.  But nothing feels better than finally being free of something that made you miserable.  My whole house feels as if it was cleansed of negativity.  My children see that I am happy and going stronger than ever, in turn they are happier.  

 In a nutshell I will tell you, don't stay in any relationship because you think it's what is best for your children.  I know you've heard it before but it's the truth.  Your children love you and want you to be happy.  They deserve to learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships from your examples.  You deserve to learn it as well!  

I've been blogging since 2008, I am looking forward to posting more often.  I am also hoping that I can help someone through it. Think about what makes you happy and start working towards making it a habit. You Got This!  

A Grasshopper and a Spider Meet on a Screen....

The grasshopper was on my screen for about an hour chilling solo then along came a spider....and they both got popped off my screen!  

Kids and Cell Phones...How old should they be to have one?

At what age do you think children should have a cell phone?  I look around and see kids in elementary school with their own Iphone and it boggles me.  Does this little person have a job?  Smart phones can cost around $500 - $700 easy...just for the phone never mind the plan.  Half of the adults I know walk around with cracked screens never mind a 9 year old who has no concept of money.  Are they so busy in life already that they need constant contact with friends and exposure to the internet at the palm of their wee little hands?

Ok...even if as a parent you think, hmmm...I want to be able to communicate with my child at any moment so they need a cell phone...but do they need that smart phone though?  What about a good ol' normal can get and make calls/texts kinda phone?  Why do they need to be on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and God knows what else?  That's a whole another post I'll rant on at a later date! ha, ha

I was sitting in my daughter's new student orientation at the middle school yesterday and the cell phone topic came up.  They gave the whole "don't use your phone during class time to text...blah, blah, blah" but then they threw me off when a teacher stated, "you may use your cell phone during class to help with your work at times".  Well, of course my 11 year old turns and looks at me like SEE MOM...EVERYONE HAS A PHONE BUT ME!!!  So now what do I do from here, get her a phone that I don't feel is necessary just because now students are using smart phones during class instead of books to do research.  Yes, Yes...I know get with the times stop acting like I'm elderly and oblivious.  

My daughter does not know this yet but I will get her a smart phone before school starts next week. However, it will not be the latest android or Iphone.  There's not enough chores in the house to cover the cost of one of those phones if she breaks or loses it.  

What's your opinion?  How old is old enough for a cell phone?  

Busy Bee at Work

Over the years of living in Ohio I have fell in love with hiking the many trails they have here.   Each time I go, sometimes twice a week,  I admire all the natural beauty around me. It's so relaxing and helps with coping with day to day stress.

My favorites are the Summit Metroparks it's so peaceful and beautiful.   I take pictures that inspire me each time I do hike.  I thought it'd be nice to share the natural beauty of this world, especially after seeing so much negativity that seems to surround us. 

I hope you enjoy my Busy Bee at Work picture! 

Live, Learn....Teach not Preach

No one is born full of wisdom, it's learned through years of experience and mistakes.  With this you gain strength, knowledge and common sense.  No knowledge and common sense do not go hand and hand, unfortunately. 

I'm a woman who has had her share of ups and downs in life. I don't dwell on the bad, lessons learned...may have been the hard way but I wont make the same mistake.  Never allow the past to control your future.  Make to each day count. Dust yourself off and get back out there.

Being a parent and dealing or dealt with hardships in life is even further from difficult.  I'm here to tell you to be sure to use these examples to talk WITH not at your children.  Be sure you consider age appropriateness, you don't tell a six year old about a relationship gone wrong due to cheating, drugs etc.  That's where common sense comes in.

Sit in a mutually comfortable environment with your teenager.  Tell her how to stay safe and recognize if a relationship may turn abusive.  Explain to her you experienced domestic violence, tell her she deserves better in life. 
Talk with your son why he should think twice before giving into peer pressure.  Share what you've been through.

The key is to discuss important life lessons with them.  Don't lecture them, going on and on saying "don't do this...because I said so" will backfire for you both. It's natural to be rebellious, how do you think you got into some of those situations!

We can't be our children's buddy's but we can't walk around preaching either.  I have always talked with my children and my son, who is 16, thanked me for being different.  I listen to him, allow him to express his opinion and I don't tell my kids anything if I'm unsure. We work together to figure it out.  In turn they respect me, value my wisdom and trust to talk with me.

You can't expect lil Johnny to open to you about his feelings or things that are going on if you clam up and demand he just does what you say. 

I'm not a psychiatrist or anything of the such.  I am a mother who loves her babies enough to help them avoid my same mistakes. They will make plenty if their own, I'm just speaking on what I know not what I think.